Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.....

As you can tell from the previous two posts which have been written within the same hour...i am in a bit of a pensive mood tonight. But, i have decided to snap out of it. So, here's something a bit more cheery. I wanted to talk about some of my favorite things. So, here goes....

My favorite book is The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner....i read this book in high school and have read many books since then, but really....nothing compares. I love how Faulkner shows love, caring, functionality, peace through exploring relationships and circumstances which are completely devoid of these qualities. It is a brilliant depiction of human nature and behavior.

My favorite movie is an indian movie called Masoom....there are no words to describe it....it was a movie ahead of its times....go watch it with a box of kleenex...i guarantee you won't regret it.

My favorite time of the day is when I lie in bed next to J at the end of the day and watch him fall asleep in 3 seconds flat while I struggle to summon the sleep gods to smile upon me. I am also a huge fan of saturday mornings....i love waking up late and not worry about rushing to do a zillion things.

My favorite food is biryani and karahi chicken from al markaz....i can literally eat this stuff for the rest of my life.

My favorite TV show is....wait i have to break this down into categories....i am a huge TV fan. I like TV shows better than movies because it becomes a part of your life week after week. I love that connectivity. Ok....so my favorite comedy show is Scrubs....oh how i love JD with his insecurities and imperfections, his daydreams and obsessions, his hero worship of Dr. Cox and man-love of Chocolate Bear. I love JD! My favorite drama is Gilmore Girls....oh how i wish i could talk like Lorelai and Rory...oh how I wish I lived in a place where colorful characters like Kirk and Babetter, Taylor and Miss Patty make their home. The show is now over but it still holds a very special place in my heart.

My favorite on-screen couple is Jim and Pam from the office. I feel like they are most like me and J.(Incidentally Jim and J share the first letter of their first name and Pam and I share the first letter of our first names....coincidence....i think not!). They are not showy and pretentious....they know what constitutes a good relationship....a real connection....No one else gets them the way they get each other.

My favorite off-screen couple are my oldest aunt and uncle. Once again....a real connection....a lasting love....today they are celebrating over 30 years of marraige...i hope J and i get to do the same one day.

My favorite on-screen characters are JD (shocker!) and Eric Foreman - love the self-deprecating, real, and funny guys. I also love Peter and Stewie from Family guy and of course Cartman from Southpark.

I am also a huge fan of Kidd Kraddick in the Morning radio show....Kidd is a self-centered ass, but he is funny. I love Kelly on the show....she is such a straight shooter....i also love the characters of kinsey and poolat sanj....very funny.

I love linen pants and dark chocolate, lillies and daisies....dogs and coffee.

I love colors and the sound of my best friend K's laugh, saris and fat babies.

I love writing....and wish i was better at it....wish i could do it all day....

I love reminscing and hate forgetting.

I love the way fat babies wobble when they try to sit and eventually tip over because they can't balance their fatness.

I love the folds and hanging skin on an old person's arms when they shakily reach for something.

I love traveling and wish i could do it more.

I love the little squares that go on forever in my engagment ring, the way i feel when i drive my car fast all of a sudden and commercials with babies or monkeys.

I love the way my teeth feel right after i go to the dentist for a cleaning and the way my hair feels right after a haircut.

I love the first days of fall and spring and winter....cloudy days and fireplaces.

I love randomness and lounging on the couch, hardwood floors and soft blankets.

I love sleep....and that's what i am going to do now....

Working girl

I quit my job about 3 weeks ago and started a new one this week. I was quite unhappy at my old job....i felt like i completely lost who i was and what i wanted to be during my time there. I was riddled with self-doubt and left to wonder if i really did hate it or was i just having the "first job after school" blues. I wanted to leave after a year but i didn't want to be a quitter. I thought it was a phase....that i would get used to it and hopefully someday grow to like it. But, it never happened. And now that I have started this new job, i know i made the right decision. And yes I am aware of the fact that I have only been here for a week and of course everything seems rosy, but that may change. But, i have a different feeling for this one....I feel like myself - my old self again. I am not exactly super career minded....not anymore. But, I do have a desperate desire and need to do something I like and enjoy....something I am good and feel good about doing at the same time. And i feel like this will be a good journey....or at least i hope so.....

I just called...to say...i love u....

How do u express your love for someone? This has always been problematic for me. I have a really hard time saying "I love you" or "I miss you" to my family or friends. I can write it (in a moment of sappiness) but i can't say it. The only person i feel comfortable saying it to is my husband. It always boggles my mind....if you care about someone, why can't you just tell them? I know I am not the only one who suffers from this ailment. But, most people have this problem with someone they are romantically involved with and not with their family and friends. I have the opposite problem. I don't know why. But i hope that my family and friends know how much i love them and how invested i feel in their fate.

In with the old and out with the new

We had our housewarming party this past weekend. I decided to try and make some of the food myself, which was of course a huge disaster! Don't get me wrong, it actually tasted decent ...but it took me forever and i ran completely behind. But fortunately the party went off pretty well....a good time seemed to be had by most people.

As the food started to settle in and the booze started occupying blood space in our bodies, someone had the bright idea to turn our living room into a club. And everyone wanted to play DJ all at once. And then came the kicker.....there were people who failed to recognize old classics such as Volare, Move it like this and Murder she wrote. Seriously what's going on....does today's youth not listen to anything except for the current top 40 and rap songs about being in love with bartenders and strippers.

I don't know if its just that today's yung uns don't care about anything except what they see currently on MTV or its just that I am old and don't want to see what's currently on MTV....maybe I only want to look back and reflect back on my younger days....when the weight gain was in all the right places...when my biggest worry was what to wear the next day and my biggest responsibility was not killing the dog by forgetting to feed him.

I guess the Lord must live in New York City

The title of this post is taken from a song by Sinead O'Connor from the You've got mail soundtrack. It is one of my favorite songs about one of my favorite cities. I love the way different cities have their own identity, their own fingerprint. I totally believe that the city you live in plays a part in making you who you are. My cell phone's ring tone is Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers (Anthony Kiedis....yummmmmmmyyyy!!!)....and it of course pays homage to the City of Angels (and drugs i believe...but we'll ignore that part). In You've got mail, Tom Hanks says, "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." I love this sentiment and i love newly sharpened pencils....unfortunately i hardly ever use a pencil anymore, but when i was younger my notebook and pencils (plural) were my constant companions and my cousin would keep on sharpening all my pencils and reduce them to the size of my pinky....it was most annoying!



Getting back to New York, the reason I am writing about it is to first and foremost proclaim my unconditional love for it and secondly to talk about my recent trip there. I went there about a month ago to meet up with two of my childhood (or more like middleschoolhood) friends A and T. A lives in Bombay and T is currently hopping zipcodes between Bangkok and Ahmedabad. I went to middle school in Ahmedabad and A, T, mua and another girl S were our own little clique. Through some wierd twist of fate, we all separated at the same time. After finishing eighth grade, i came to America, A moved to Bombaby, S moved to Madras and T stayed in Ahmedabad. That was about 15 years ago and we've still managed to keep in touch. Pretty impressive huh? As we got done with college and became more independent we were able to start meeting up every once in a while. So, this year, we all decided to meet up in nyc...S couldn't meet up with us that weekend but she met up with A and T on a different weekend.



Of course the entire weekend was centered around eating and drinking. We went to Buddha Bar which was awesome....we ordered this one maki roll as an appetizer and it was sooooo good (i forget the name now)....well since we all split the appetizer, it wasn't much. And each one of us wanted more so finally me being the big pig that I am suggested we order another round and of course A & T both being big foodies themselves readily agreed! And Buddha Bar played the best music....its like they had Gypsy Kings on repeat....awesome!!!!



On friday night we went to this rooftop hotel bar and this one guy comes up to T and starts hitting on her. When he found out that T was indian, he proclaimed himself to be half indian and started using hindi words. Unfortunately the only hindi words he knew were "didi" (sister) and "master" (i guess master in english too...but in hindi i believe it is used in the teacher context)....so he kept using these totally random hindi words. Then he tells T he likes Rasgullas (an indian sweet that lookes like white balls of cream cheese or cottage cheese and it sits on a bed of this super sweet clear syrup) and asks her if she likes them too and T replies with a reluctant and confused affirmative. He then proceeds to ask her if she likes to "squeeze the juice" out of the rasgullas....A and I are ready to bust out laughing when T replies something like "sometimes". The dumbass continues with "do you like juice....i like juice"....it was hilarious! I think I am forgetting all the details...T if you are reading this, feel free to add/subtract/embellish/exaggerate/completely fabricate further about the story.



My other favorite part was when we invaded T's cousin's fabulous apt in Union Square and got his very pregnant wife to make us cold coffee and pillaged through all the snacks in her kitchen. T and her sisten N then proceeded to make themselves more at home by taking over their cousin's laptop (he's so nice....he gave N a blackberry and pays for it), bathroom and all of their general personal space. This was after we each shelled out 60 bucks to see Les Miserables which was horrific and we were all falling asleep and came to a unanimous decision to chuck the show halfway through and head off to T's cousin's place (which was to be followed by dessert at the Chocolate by the Bald man....yummmoooo). The one thing i learnt during this trip was how they came up with the name Les Miserables....Heh!

When we were in middle school all the super "popular" kids formed little groups and they named them....horribly silly names like bonkers and flames. Our little foursome were the non-mainstream popular kids.....we were cool, intellectual, usually held some type of officer position and the other popular girls wanted to be friends with us, but we didn't believe in blessing the mainstream crowd with the pleasure of our company. Yes....we were snotty in our own way. Well, later on down the line we christened our little foursome with a moniker of its own....Whores, Inc. Before you get any ideas, we were all talk....we were wanna be whores but our morals and crap always got in the way. But it was so much fun!

Of course the trip wouldn't be complete without some great heart to hearts. And great heart to hearts were had over cigarette smoke and coffee and smelly cab rides and in gay bars in chelsea. I love A and T. They are two of the most amazing people I know. A is fierce, independent, smart, ambitious, loving, caring, funny, honest. She has surrounded herself by a wall comparable to the Great Wall of China but once she lets you in....its a sight to behold. If i could live one day of my life the way she leads hers, i would consider it to be a great accomplishment. T is a walking paradox....an intellectual at heart with crazy brainpower who has the ability to be president of the world, but at the same time is dying to become a Bollywood movie star and turn Shahrukh Khan straight. She knows her strengths and has accomplished much, yet she is self-deprecating in the most endearing way. To say that i hold her in high esteem would be a gross understatement. Her individuality is unparalleled and i wish i could have an ounce of her creativity and vision.

At Buddha Bar we played this game where each of us had to say something about the other person that we would never expect them to do....very interesting...i highly recommend it.

The trip was just right....A and T are embodiments of the Big Apple and it was a perfect meeting place for us. I really missed seeing S though but hopefully she will visit me later on this year and i'll do a post about her then. I love this city that's always awake and never normal or typical and i love these people who i feel this amazing connection with.....across the seven seas and through the winding years.

To end this post i am going to leave you with the lyrics to Under the Bridge....



Sometimes I feel Like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel Like my only friend

Is the city I live in The city of angels

Lonely as I am Together we cry


I drive on her streets

'Cause she's my companion

I walk through her hills

'Cause she knows who I am



She sees my good deeds

And she kisses me windy

I never worry

Now that is a lie


I don't ever want to feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way


It's hard to believe

That there's nobody out there

It's hard to believe

That I'm all alone

At least I have her love



The city she loves me

Lonely as I am

Together we cry


I don't ever want to feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all that way


Under the bridge downtown

Is where I drew some blood

Under the bridge downtown

I could not get enough



Under the bridge downtown

Forgot about my love

Under the bridge downtown

I gave my life away

An ode to Angelina

I am watching this deal on TV about the new Marriane Pearl movie. Angelina Jolie plays Marriane. I am truly fascinated by Angelina (yes we're on a first name basis....in my dreams!). Her beauty is unparallelled. She exudes strength, confidence, elegance, coyness, passion, exuberance and all around bad-assness! Many of my girl friends insinuate that i have bisexual tendencies when it comes to Angelina....i often wonder if this might not be too far from the truth! But that's neither here nor there....

I love Angelina because of what she is doing. I love the fact that she is this glamorous movie star who is putting her power and popularity to good use. She is shedding light on little known parts of the world and the extreme poverty and devastation that resides there. When the last big earthquake hit Pakistan recently, she rolled up her sleeves and actually spent time amongst the masses....she was holding and hugging the emaciated children with torn clothes and snot filled noses. She is constantly reaching out to underprivileged people and above all she is adopting. I want to adopt....i really do....i hope one day i have the balls to actually go through with it.

I had always been fascinated by Angelina, but then....just when I thought she couldn't be any more fabulous, she had to go and get with Brad - who is by far the most perfect man in my eyes!

In this day and age when we are intimately acquainted with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears' rehab check ins and check outs, inundated with Nicole Richie's heart wrenching tale of "I am trying to gain weight, but I just can't" and flooded with Paris Hilton's upcoming stint in the Big House.....its nice to see celebrities use their power for good.

Angelina....you've come a long way from wearing vials of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around your neck....so if you ever happen to stumble upon my blog...consider this post my ode to you....

P.S.---and yes I am willing to modify my sexuality for you, or in the alternative cheat on my husband with yours (its okay...we have an open marriage when it comes to you and brad)

The J thing

Today is my husband's (hereinafter referred to as "J"...that's a little legalese for you folks) birthday...so I figured it is a perfect opportunity to do a post about him. I want to start by saying that he is the most amazing man i know. (baby...if you read this, don't get a big head).

J often looks at me and calls me "pavam", which means innocent in malayalam. And i always look at him incredulously because i can't fathom how someone can feel that way about me. True....i have my naive moments, but i feel that life has made me too practical and cynical to retain any true measure of "pavamness". And no...i am not digressing to make this a post about me and my cynicism.

The point is that J has also been through many things in life which have hardened him and caused him to lose some pavamness and yet he hasn't lost the overral essence of pavamness which i now believe to be so elusive in relation to me. He still believes in people, in their innate goodness, and this completely shines through in his being. This genuineness creates a certain charisma which draws people to him. I, on the other hand, feel so tired with life that i don't have the energy to be genuine or fake. I am just apathetic about most things in life....practical and apathetic.....that's exactly how i would describe my current state of being. And I am not trying to be dramatic and imply that life has dealt me many worse blows compared to my husband. (I leave the "woe is me" act to my mother-in-law who is the master of the craft....tee hee!) In fact, i think his life has been much more difficult than mine. I at least had many good childhood years where i was just a kid, carefree and callous. My husband was unfortunate to have had very few such years. And yet, he deals with life so much better. He is still positive and optimistic. He hasn't given up on life yet.

I don't know....maybe its a male v. female thing. Females are naturally vindictive, manipulative, and prone to negativity. Men seem more capable of compartmentalizing life and letting things go which perhaps allows them to maintain a more positive outlook on life.

But, i really think its more than that. I think its a J thing. He is completely incapable of manipulation. He is 100% real. And that's what I love about him. And when i see him.....being his J self, doing his J thing.....it gives me something to aspire to....some hope that as long as he is with me, everything will be okay.....

I guess i can't be too cynical....after all pri-destiny did lead me to him!

The weather conspiracy

Texas weather is notorious for being fickle...it can be 90 degrees when you go to lunch and 30 degrees by the time you leave work. Not only is it fickle, but I believe it has a personal vendetta against yours truly. It always starts raining right when i have to get out of a building or my car! It happened to me 3 times already this week. True...the "meteorologists" had predicted rain and thunderstorms all week and were annoyingly interrupting all of my favorite shows everyday to give us the "severe weather update"....but that's besides the point! For three straight days on my way home from work, it would start raining exactly as i made the right turn into my apartment complex. And I don't mean a slight romantic little drizzle...i am talking thumping, torrential, blinding rain - with absolutely no signs of letting up any time soon. And of course I never have an umbrella! So, i try to haul ass into my apt lugging my purse, my bag, my work out shoes, my groceries...arghhhh!!! I finally stumble into my apt dripping wet, hoping my purse hasn't shriveled up like a raisin and praying my cell phone hasn't suffered death by H2o. Exactly 2 minutes later finds me raising the blinds on the patio door to examine any potential damage to my george foreman grill, and lo and behold....the rain has stopped...completely...not even a drop or drizzle is falling! Like I said....its a conspiracy....The rain gods are not happy with me....

In case you are wondering, yes this did happen to me 3 times this week and no it never occurred to me to take an umbrella, bring the george foreman grill inside, or wait a few minutes before getting out of the car., even after the third time! That's just not me....i really don't believe in learning from my mistakes....and thus...i suffer....

Should we go out or go out?

this is an email received from one of my friends

Ok, I talked to Anu last night and she said she doesnt really care to goout to
dinner. She just wants to go out. So the night before thewedding
we're gonna have her "going away" party and just go out. evenif we have to
go to rehersal/dinner we can meet up afterwards and goout. It'll work out
well b/c ppl who are in town for the wedding cancome out as well. So we'll
prob just meet up at the Loon that night andgo from there.

Then one of my other friends responded to this email by saying

How many times can one person use 'go out' in an
email??

Mavs (Wo)man

The Dallas Mavericks are in the first round of playoffs and struggling to stay in the race. They were the best team in the league during regular season but they are playing against Golden State who always give them trouble.

I am not really a huge sports fan....definitely don't have the talent to play anything....I mean it...i have zero athletic ability....but i do enjoy following certain sports. I truly enjoy watching basketball and football.

But, the reason for this post is not to profess my love and devotion towards sports....so let me get to the point. (btw...i am known to always go on tangents and take the extremely long and scenic route to get to the destination of any story...my friends will not hesitate to confirm this)

Seeing the mavs struggle has brought to the surface a very unexpected reaction in me. I feel very invested in their fate....when the mavs lost game 4, i felt literally heartbroken....tears started welling up in my eyes, i had a hard time falling asleep....so of course i had to then spend the next few days thinking about why i felt this way.

There is of course the obvious reason...i am from dallas and support all of the local sports clubs, but its more than team spirit....the mavs worked so hard all season but just can't seem to close the deal.....this makes them feel like a kindred spirit. I always work hard at everything, but can't seem to stay consistent...can't seem to seal the deal. I tend to get discouraged, disappointed, disheartened, disheveled, (d)lazy along the way. So, i feel the pain of the mavs....I hope they don't lose in the first round of playoffs....

Icebreaker

I once used to teach people how to telemarket. (DON'T JUDGE!!!) The classes lasted about 2 weeks and on the first day i had to play one of those cheesy icebreaker games with the students so everyone could get to know each other. Cheesy it may have been....but it was also surprisingly effective. So, as an ode to my old telemarketing days, i will introduce myself in my very first blog entry using the same icebreaker i used in those days.....My name is ****. I am 28 years old. If there was a movie made about my life, it would be entitled "A Brave New World" and the person who would play me would be Salma Hayek (people used to say i looked like her, but i promise i am not bragging because alas...beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder....as others have said i look like Jay Leno!)

I am starting this blog to force my self to return to my lost habits of introspection and escapism (i hope that's a word). Descartes' now way overused quote, "I think, therefore i am" has always haunted me, defined me. I like to think and re-think and overthink and then think some more!!! The only thing i love doing more than thinking is escaping....into my own little dream world. I am a pisces and truly embody the characterictic piscean trait of dreaming/escaping. But, ever since I graduated law school (Did i mention i am a lawyer...i know...yuck!) and entered the grind of long work hours, demanding bosses, unappreciating clients, mortgages, 401k's, decreasing metabolism and increasing old age....i feel like i have ignored my favorite pasttimes...So, my hope is that this blog will allow me to return to my old loves....