Baby blues...

Lately my mind has been on a whirlwind! There are a million thoughts going through my head at all times and I want to rush to act on all of them but then I just feel tired from thinking to do anything! Its a constant battle! The biggest thing on my mind right now is the baby...I am pregnant. Its still weird to say it out loud although its been almost 4 months now. This new adventure of course brings with it new stresses, thoughts, questions, palpitations and freak outs. Generally I haven't minded the pregnancy too much yet but I haven't gotten to the "I am huge like a big ole' pumpkin" part yet!

One of the things I have noticed lately is an absolute clinginess to J compared to my usual independent self! He has been a lot nicer to me (not that he is not always nice...just more so in a traditional sense now) since the pregnancy. He is not always telling me to do stuff, if I try to sit next to him or cuddle - he doesn't immediately retort with "you're making me hot (temperature)" or "you're making me uncomfortable" or "can you stay in your own space". So, maybe I am more drawn to him because of his new found niceness! Or maybe its because we don't get to spend much time together since I travel a lot for work. Or maybe its my crazy hormones these days..Whatever the reason may be...I am like a 16 yr old school girl...missing him when he's not around...wanting to sit really close to him and just generally being pathetic!

I am also super scared that once the baby comes J will forget all about me and only care about the baby! Not to mention all this extra niceness will disappear!

Sigh...generally I am just being very needy and clingy and that annoys me and then I get more annoyed because I think I am entitled to be needy and clingy! Ugh...I am just rambling now...oh well!