An ode to Angelina

I am watching this deal on TV about the new Marriane Pearl movie. Angelina Jolie plays Marriane. I am truly fascinated by Angelina (yes we're on a first name basis....in my dreams!). Her beauty is unparallelled. She exudes strength, confidence, elegance, coyness, passion, exuberance and all around bad-assness! Many of my girl friends insinuate that i have bisexual tendencies when it comes to Angelina....i often wonder if this might not be too far from the truth! But that's neither here nor there....

I love Angelina because of what she is doing. I love the fact that she is this glamorous movie star who is putting her power and popularity to good use. She is shedding light on little known parts of the world and the extreme poverty and devastation that resides there. When the last big earthquake hit Pakistan recently, she rolled up her sleeves and actually spent time amongst the masses....she was holding and hugging the emaciated children with torn clothes and snot filled noses. She is constantly reaching out to underprivileged people and above all she is adopting. I want to adopt....i really do....i hope one day i have the balls to actually go through with it.

I had always been fascinated by Angelina, but then....just when I thought she couldn't be any more fabulous, she had to go and get with Brad - who is by far the most perfect man in my eyes!

In this day and age when we are intimately acquainted with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears' rehab check ins and check outs, inundated with Nicole Richie's heart wrenching tale of "I am trying to gain weight, but I just can't" and flooded with Paris Hilton's upcoming stint in the Big House.....its nice to see celebrities use their power for good.

Angelina....you've come a long way from wearing vials of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around your neck....so if you ever happen to stumble upon my blog...consider this post my ode to you....

P.S.---and yes I am willing to modify my sexuality for you, or in the alternative cheat on my husband with yours (its okay...we have an open marriage when it comes to you and brad)

The J thing

Today is my husband's (hereinafter referred to as "J"...that's a little legalese for you folks) birthday...so I figured it is a perfect opportunity to do a post about him. I want to start by saying that he is the most amazing man i know. (baby...if you read this, don't get a big head).

J often looks at me and calls me "pavam", which means innocent in malayalam. And i always look at him incredulously because i can't fathom how someone can feel that way about me. True....i have my naive moments, but i feel that life has made me too practical and cynical to retain any true measure of "pavamness". And no...i am not digressing to make this a post about me and my cynicism.

The point is that J has also been through many things in life which have hardened him and caused him to lose some pavamness and yet he hasn't lost the overral essence of pavamness which i now believe to be so elusive in relation to me. He still believes in people, in their innate goodness, and this completely shines through in his being. This genuineness creates a certain charisma which draws people to him. I, on the other hand, feel so tired with life that i don't have the energy to be genuine or fake. I am just apathetic about most things in life....practical and apathetic.....that's exactly how i would describe my current state of being. And I am not trying to be dramatic and imply that life has dealt me many worse blows compared to my husband. (I leave the "woe is me" act to my mother-in-law who is the master of the craft....tee hee!) In fact, i think his life has been much more difficult than mine. I at least had many good childhood years where i was just a kid, carefree and callous. My husband was unfortunate to have had very few such years. And yet, he deals with life so much better. He is still positive and optimistic. He hasn't given up on life yet.

I don't know....maybe its a male v. female thing. Females are naturally vindictive, manipulative, and prone to negativity. Men seem more capable of compartmentalizing life and letting things go which perhaps allows them to maintain a more positive outlook on life.

But, i really think its more than that. I think its a J thing. He is completely incapable of manipulation. He is 100% real. And that's what I love about him. And when i see him.....being his J self, doing his J thing.....it gives me something to aspire to....some hope that as long as he is with me, everything will be okay.....

I guess i can't be too cynical....after all pri-destiny did lead me to him!

The weather conspiracy

Texas weather is notorious for being fickle...it can be 90 degrees when you go to lunch and 30 degrees by the time you leave work. Not only is it fickle, but I believe it has a personal vendetta against yours truly. It always starts raining right when i have to get out of a building or my car! It happened to me 3 times already this week. True...the "meteorologists" had predicted rain and thunderstorms all week and were annoyingly interrupting all of my favorite shows everyday to give us the "severe weather update"....but that's besides the point! For three straight days on my way home from work, it would start raining exactly as i made the right turn into my apartment complex. And I don't mean a slight romantic little drizzle...i am talking thumping, torrential, blinding rain - with absolutely no signs of letting up any time soon. And of course I never have an umbrella! So, i try to haul ass into my apt lugging my purse, my bag, my work out shoes, my groceries...arghhhh!!! I finally stumble into my apt dripping wet, hoping my purse hasn't shriveled up like a raisin and praying my cell phone hasn't suffered death by H2o. Exactly 2 minutes later finds me raising the blinds on the patio door to examine any potential damage to my george foreman grill, and lo and behold....the rain has stopped...completely...not even a drop or drizzle is falling! Like I said....its a conspiracy....The rain gods are not happy with me....

In case you are wondering, yes this did happen to me 3 times this week and no it never occurred to me to take an umbrella, bring the george foreman grill inside, or wait a few minutes before getting out of the car., even after the third time! That's just not me....i really don't believe in learning from my mistakes....and thus...i suffer....

Should we go out or go out?

this is an email received from one of my friends

Ok, I talked to Anu last night and she said she doesnt really care to goout to
dinner. She just wants to go out. So the night before thewedding
we're gonna have her "going away" party and just go out. evenif we have to
go to rehersal/dinner we can meet up afterwards and goout. It'll work out
well b/c ppl who are in town for the wedding cancome out as well. So we'll
prob just meet up at the Loon that night andgo from there.

Then one of my other friends responded to this email by saying

How many times can one person use 'go out' in an
email??

Mavs (Wo)man

The Dallas Mavericks are in the first round of playoffs and struggling to stay in the race. They were the best team in the league during regular season but they are playing against Golden State who always give them trouble.

I am not really a huge sports fan....definitely don't have the talent to play anything....I mean it...i have zero athletic ability....but i do enjoy following certain sports. I truly enjoy watching basketball and football.

But, the reason for this post is not to profess my love and devotion towards sports....so let me get to the point. (btw...i am known to always go on tangents and take the extremely long and scenic route to get to the destination of any story...my friends will not hesitate to confirm this)

Seeing the mavs struggle has brought to the surface a very unexpected reaction in me. I feel very invested in their fate....when the mavs lost game 4, i felt literally heartbroken....tears started welling up in my eyes, i had a hard time falling asleep....so of course i had to then spend the next few days thinking about why i felt this way.

There is of course the obvious reason...i am from dallas and support all of the local sports clubs, but its more than team spirit....the mavs worked so hard all season but just can't seem to close the deal.....this makes them feel like a kindred spirit. I always work hard at everything, but can't seem to stay consistent...can't seem to seal the deal. I tend to get discouraged, disappointed, disheartened, disheveled, (d)lazy along the way. So, i feel the pain of the mavs....I hope they don't lose in the first round of playoffs....

Icebreaker

I once used to teach people how to telemarket. (DON'T JUDGE!!!) The classes lasted about 2 weeks and on the first day i had to play one of those cheesy icebreaker games with the students so everyone could get to know each other. Cheesy it may have been....but it was also surprisingly effective. So, as an ode to my old telemarketing days, i will introduce myself in my very first blog entry using the same icebreaker i used in those days.....My name is ****. I am 28 years old. If there was a movie made about my life, it would be entitled "A Brave New World" and the person who would play me would be Salma Hayek (people used to say i looked like her, but i promise i am not bragging because alas...beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder....as others have said i look like Jay Leno!)

I am starting this blog to force my self to return to my lost habits of introspection and escapism (i hope that's a word). Descartes' now way overused quote, "I think, therefore i am" has always haunted me, defined me. I like to think and re-think and overthink and then think some more!!! The only thing i love doing more than thinking is escaping....into my own little dream world. I am a pisces and truly embody the characterictic piscean trait of dreaming/escaping. But, ever since I graduated law school (Did i mention i am a lawyer...i know...yuck!) and entered the grind of long work hours, demanding bosses, unappreciating clients, mortgages, 401k's, decreasing metabolism and increasing old age....i feel like i have ignored my favorite pasttimes...So, my hope is that this blog will allow me to return to my old loves....