My 3 o'clock got cancelled so now I am sitting here watching Jiya play in the exersaucer. She is fascinated by the bird on a ledge on the exersaucer and basically tries to rip the bird to shreds by pulling at it in every direction.
Jiya has been sick for the first time and it breaks my heart when I hear her labored breathing and tiny coughs. I walk up to wipe her nose for the umpteenth time and she fights me for the umpteenth time giving me the look of "Mom - stop messing with my face!" Once I am done with my evil deed of wiping her face she looks up at me and gives me a big ole smile as if I never did anything to annoy her at all. I love this unconditional love. Love the way she smiles so big when I enter the room.
I feel so helpless when she is sick. I want to do anything, everything to make her feel better and yet there's so little I can do. My parents' words of "you'll understand when you have your own baby" are definitely coming back to haunt me. Its very true...only now...after having my own child can I understand their fears, their dreams, their love, their sacrifices.
Having a child is hard especially when you have a full time job, social obligations, a marriage and other friends and family to keep up with. But it is gratifying. I have become a total cliche parent - one who says "I can't imagine my life without my child". When did this happen? Certainly not in those first few months when I was surviving on no sleep and Jiya could only smile at me if she was gassy!
